Forum Übersicht - Kondome schützen, besonders die von Lümmel Tüte....

Vorgestern fand ich in einem meiner Postfächer eine Mail, die mir bislang noch nicht untergekommen ist. Da möchte ein Mugu viele Geschäfte für die Regierung in Ghana tätigen:

In Antwort auf:

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Dear Sir.

The Government of Ghana, in West Africa, has recieved
funds from the INTERNATIONAL DEVELOPMENT
ASSOCIATION(IDA) with loan number :IDA CREDIT NO:3964
GH,and AGENCE FRANCAISE DE DEVELOPMENT(AFD),AFD LOAN
NO:CGH 6004.01.G, towards the cost of community based
rural development projects ( CBRDP) and intends to
apply part of this fund to cover eligible payments
under the contracts for the supply of the following items.
1. water treatment plants,Chemicals,Aniaml Feeds/ingredients to (Ministry of Agriculture)
2. Fertiliser.to (Ministry of Agriculture)
3. Medical equipment (Syringes, needles, surgical instruments,wheel chairs,beds) to (Ministry of Health)
4. agro chemicals . to (Ministry of Agriculture)
5.condoms . to (Ministry of Health)
6.Educational infrastucture. (Stationeries,Computer, Laptop and Desk Tops) to ( Ministry of Education)
7.Fishing equipment . fishing nets,hocks,treads, etc to (Ministry of Agriculture)
8.Knapsack sprayer to (Ministry of Agriculture)
9.treated mosquito net. to (Ministry of Health)
10.round neck T.shirt . to (Ministry of Interior)
11.used cars and motor byke(ministry of transport)
Tender is open to all eligible foreign contractors
from eligible source countries as defined in the
guidelines of the procurement
Board of ther Republic of ghana.If you can handle the
supply any of the above items, get back to me for more
details. i am a commision agent.
Thanks
Mr john mensah

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In Antwort auf:

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Dear Mr. John Mensah,

I'm glad to tell you, that I can help you with the needet Supplys. I own a factory for Condoms and I can deliver you.
Please tell me, what I have to do for our Realationship.

Best Regards
Luemmel Tuete
-------------------------------------------------------
Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!
-------------------------------------------------------

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Und schon kam das Angebot: 100.000.000 Präser nach DIN. Die Normen hat er aber schön im Internet abgeschrieben:

In Antwort auf:

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Received: from [41.210.22.100] by web45604.mail.sp1.yahoo.com via HTTP; Thu, 06 Sep 2007 05:41:26 PDT
Date: Thu, 6 Sep 2007 05:41:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: john mensah <mrjohnmensah_1965@yahoo.com>
Subject: Details-get back to me soon
To: xxx@xxx
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Dear Friend,

Thanks for your interest to participate on the tender. Go through the tender details below and get back to me if you can handle the supply of the required quantities.

DETAILS:-
I want you to know that i am a commision agent. Due to my relationship with members of the contract awarding committee of the ministries, many firms have gotten many contracts through my company effort over the years. If you win this contract through my company effort, i will be entitled to 1% commission as gratification to my company. The 1% commission will emanate by increasing the prices of the condoms by 1% in your profoma invoice to accommodate my commission. This money (the 1%) will only be paid to me after you must have recieved your full contract payment from the ministry.

The condoms are needed by Ministry of HEALTH. The t-shirts has been planned to be used as a promotional tool on a nation-wide campaign on Hiv/Aids in the country .All these compounded, is a strategy by the ruling party towards winning next years election.

PAYMENT TERMS:-
It may interest you to note that the ministry makes an advance payment of 70% by bank to bank by telegraphic transfer and the remaining 30% to be paid by bank to bank telegraphic transfer,to be paid before shipment/supply. All payments to be confirmed by your bank.

The specification of the condoms is as stated below:-
LATEX CONDOM
Latex Condom S, M, L,
Colour Natural
Standard GB7544-1999/ISO04074
Style Plain
Lubricant Silicon oil
Specifications 55 mm, 52 mm, 49 mm
Packing 48 wallets / box, 30 Boxes / carton, 3 Pieces per Wallet
Quantity needed: 100,000,000 pieces (one hundred million pieces)

SUPPLY DURATION:-
The supply duration is negotiable if you eventually win the contract. If these meets your consent, let me know so that i can tell you the tender documents to prepare and the contacts of the contract awarding committeee so that you can contact them directly. Do not hesitate to contact me either by phone or mail if there is any clarification you need to enable us proceed.

Regards,
Mr. John Mensah
CEO
Jons Investment Agency Ltd
3rd Floor
Plot 112 Airport Road
Accra-Ghana
Phone: +233249646163

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Dem Mugu kann doch geholfen werden. Ich habe gerade ein paar Präser auf Lager

In Antwort auf:

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Dear Mr. Mansah,

I’m glad to tell you, that my Company is able to send you the needet Condoms on Time.

I can offer you 8000 Cartons Condoms Size S,
8000 Cartons Size M and
8000 Cartons Size L,
shipping by Seacontainer. This are 103.680.000 Condoms at all.
Our Price for the Condoms

I get sponsoring Money for Contracts in Africa from the State of Germany - “Bundesamt für Merkbefreiung” - and can offer you the Condoms for only 0,012 USD/piece incl. Shipping to Ghana.

If this Terms are OK for you, please contact me by Mail as soon as possible.


Best Regards

Luemmel Tuete


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Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!
-------------------------------------------------------------------

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Der Mugu war richtig schnell und ich muss jetzt mal ein paar Unterlagen und eine Webseite basteln. Den Preis für die Kondome wird er wohl nicht wieder bekommen, aber es gibt ja staatliche Subventionen vom Bundesamt für Merkbefreiung . Die Mugus wollen was fürs Auge und an eine andere Fake-Adresse:

In Antwort auf:

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From: john mensah <mrjohnmensah_1965@yahoo.com>
Subject: SUBMISSION OF TENDER DOCUMENTS
To: Luemmel Tuete <xxx@xxx>
In-Reply-To: <20070907061409.149650@gmx.net>
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Dear Luemmel,

Thanks for your mail and the idea your provided to me on the price of the condoms. To me, i feel the price you offered is competitively ok.

You are required to prepare and send the following tender documents to the Tender Board Committee immediately.If there is any of the tender documents you find difficult to prepare, inform me to enable me give you suitable guide. The tender documents you should prepare are:-

1.LETTER OF INTENT
2.CERTIFICATE OF INCOPORATION OF YOUR COMPANY

3. PROFOMA INVOICE(CIF) FOR THE SUPPLY OF THE PRODUCTS.
4. YOUR COMPANY PROFILE

THE PORT OF DISEMBARKMENT IS TEMA WHARF, GHANA

ALL THESE DOCUMENTS SHOULD BE SENT THROUGH EMAIL ATTACHMENT TO:

THE CHAIRMAN,
CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTEE
MINISTRY OF HEALTH (FOR THE T-SHIRTS AND CONDOMS)
P.O.BOX 345, ACCRA.
TEL:+00-233-276728384, FAX: +233 21 239149
EMAIL: ghanacontract@minister.com OR ministryofhealthgh@yahoo.ie
CONTACT PERSON:Dr. Hillary Ofori
THANKS,
Mr. John Mensah
CEO
Jons Investment Agency Ltd
Plot 112 Airport Road
Accra-Ghana
00-233-24-9646163

N/B: SEND THE TENDER DOCUMENTS TO ME FIRST FOR SCRUTINY BEFORE YOU SEND TO THE TENDER BOARD OF THE MINISTRY. I DO NOT WANT US TO MAKE ANY MISTAKE ON THE CONTRACTS. DO NOT FAIL TO CONSIDER MY 1% COMMISSION IN YOUR PROFOMA INVOICE.IF YOU WIN THE CONTRACT, THE SUPPLY DURATION WILL BE NEGOTIATED WITH THE CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTEE. SO IT WILL NOT BE A PROBLEM.

PLEASE, SEND TO ME YOUR DIRECT (MOBILE) TELEPHONE NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATION WHEN THE NEED ARISES.
BECAUSE OF TIME CONSTRAINT, THE COMMITTEE RECEIVES ALL TENDER DOCUMENTS FROM EMAIL ATTACHMENT AND CREATE A FILE FOR THE COMPANY CONCERENED.

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Mittagspausen sind zum Basteln da und schon kann das Mugu-Verarschen weiter gehen. Hier das Angebot an die nächste Mugubaut vom Ministerium (bin mal gespannt, was die jetzt machen und welche Gebühren fällig werden... ):

In Antwort auf:

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Dear Dr. Hillary Ofori,

Mr. John Mensah told me to send you this attachet Documents you need for a Businesscontract with me. I can deliever you with the needet 100.000.000 Condoms as soon as possible.

I get som Money from the Staate of Germany for Contracts with Africa, so I can offer you

8000 Cartons Condoms (30 Boxes, 48 Wallets, 3 Condoms/Wallet) Size S
8000 Cartons Condoms (30 Boxes, 48 Wallets, 3 Condoms/Wallet) Size M
8000 Cartons Condoms (30 Boxes, 48 Wallets, 3 Condoms/Wallet) Size L

The Price for the Condoms are only 0,012 USD/piece incl. Shipping to Ghana, so the Contract is going about 103.680.000 Condoms, 0,012 USD/piece at the Summ of 124,416.00 USD incl Shipping and Taxes in Germany.

I’m waiting for your Mail

Best Regards

Luemmel Tuete

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Ich habe auch noch ein paar Kartons die ich nicht mehr benötige......leider nur XL und XXl.........

Vergiß die mit kleinen Löchern, die "Zubehörindustrie" für Kinder will auch leben. Die sind dann nach Milupa-DIN oder Pamper-DIN getestet. Kostet extra.

Fridolin, die Lümmeltüten, die du meinst sind in der "Familienpackung"
Aber es ging schon am Freitag weiter, es kam ein netter Vordruck aus Ghana:

In Antwort auf:

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From: "Ministry.of Health.Ghana" <ministryofhealthgh@yahoo.ie>
Subject: TENDER VERIFICATION FORM A2
To: xxx@xxxx
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary="0-183818271-1189173187=:81557"
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ATTENTION: SIR/MADAM,

RE: CONTRACT NUMBER: RG/MOH/97538/XX39/2007

WE WRITE TO CONFIRM THE RECIEPT OF YOUR TENDER DOCUMENTS FOR THE ABOVE CONTRACT REFERENCE NUMBER. YOUR DOCUMENTS ARE UNDERGOING SCRUTINY IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE LAID DOWN PROCEDURES OF THIS COMMITTEE.

PLEASE, ALWAYS MAKE REFERENCE TO THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IN YOUR CONTACT TO THIS OFFICE.

CONTRACT NUMBER: RG/MOH/97538/XX39/2007
YOUR FILE NUMBER: RM/MH/0021
YOUR TENDER NUMBER: RH/MIXX39/001
CONTRACT CODE:RGMOH/11400/BA

THE COMMITTEE IS MAKING VERIFICATIONS OF THE VARIOUS TENDERS RECIEVED AND YOU SHALL BE DULLY INFORMED AS SOON AS ANY DECISION IS TAKEN BY THE COMMITTEE.

WE HAVE AS WELL ATTACHED A TENDER BID FORM A2 TO THIS MAIL.
KINDLY PRINT THE FORM OUT, FILL THE SPACES REQUIRING YOUR
ANSWERS AND RETURN BACK TO US BY EMAIL ATTACHMENT AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.

MRS. JOYCY
SECRETARY
CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTEE
MINISTRY OF HEALTH
ACCRA-GHANA

NOTE: ACKNOWLEDGE TO US IMMEDIATELY THE SUCESSFUL DELIVERY OF THE TENDER VERIFICATION FORM A2.

Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com

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In Antwort auf:

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Dear Luemmel,

How are you doing? Please, inform me if you have started preparing the tender documents. I do now want us to work behind schedule on the tender. Some suppliers has already started submitting their tender documents to the Ministry. If there is any of the tender documents you find difficult to prepare, inform me to enable me give you suitable guide.

I wait for updates from your side.

Best regards,
Mr. John Mensah
CEO
Jons Investment Agency Ltd
3rd Floor
Plot 112 Airport Road
Accra-Ghana
Phone: 00233249646163

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Es ist Montag morgen und schon flattern die Erinnerungen ins virtuelle Postfach:

In Antwort auf:

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ATTENTION: LUEMMEL TUETE

ACKNOWLEDGE TO US THE RECEIPT OF THE TENDER VERIFICATION FORM A2 SENT TO YOU FROM THIS OFFICE LASTWEEK FRIDAY.

SECRETARY
CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTEE
MINISTRY OF HEALTH
ACCRA-GHANA
DL: +233276728384

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In Antwort auf:

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Hello John,

sorry about my late answer, but in my Factory we didn't work on weekends (we have to try our Condoms ;) ). I send a Mail with the needet Dokuments to the Ministry and I got this Morning a new Form back. I send it to the Ministry at this time, so everything is OK.

Do you need some of our Condoms to test them? I can send you a little Wallet by Post!

Have a nice Day!

Best Regards
Luemmel Tuete
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!
-------------------------------------------------------------------

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In Antwort auf:

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Hello,

sorry about this little delay, but we in my factory work hard every Day exept the weekends. So I got your Mail this morning and here you got the Form back.

Have a Nice Day

Best regards
Luemmel Tuete
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!
-------------------------------------------------------------------

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Es ist kaum zu glauben, aber die Mugus haben hocken den ganzen Tag im Internetcafe und warten auf meine Mails. Den schon kam die Zusage, dass meine Anfrage geprüft wird:

In Antwort auf:

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Received: from [41.210.30.233] by web23107.mail.ird.yahoo.com via HTTP; Mon, 10 Sep 2007 11:15:28 BST
Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2007 11:15:28 +0100 (BST)
From: "Ministry.of Health.Ghana" <ministryofhealthgh@yahoo.ie>
Subject: RG/MOH/97538/XX39/2007
To: xxx@xxx
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="0-297975769-1189419328=:64449"
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FROM: OFFICE OF THE CHAIRMAN
CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTEE
MINISTRY OF HEALTH
P.O.BOX 345
ACCRA-GHANA
FAX:+23321239149
PHONE:+233276728384
EMAILS: ghanatender@minister.com
ministryofhealthgh@yahoo.ie

DESPATCHED:10:05AM 10-09-2007

ATTENTION: LUEOMEL TUETE KONDOMFABRIKEN (richtig abschreiben will gelernt sein)
GERMANY
RE: CONTRACT NUMBER: RG/MOH/97538/XX39/2007
WE HAVE RECEIVED YOUR COMPLETED TENDER BID FORM A2 RETURNED IN THIS OFFICE AND WE WOULD GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS ANY DECISION IS TAKEN BY THE COMMITTEE.

SECRETARY

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Auch John, der alte Schwerenöter, sandte eine Mail und ist ganz angetan von meiner Idee, ein paar Präser nach Ghana zu senden . Auch er möchte für seine Unterlagen noch den Wisch, den ich Heute gefälscht habe. Nur mit der Adresse gibt es noch ein Problem und bedarf der Nachfrage meinerseits. Und die übliche Telefonnummer zur Kontaktaufnahme:

In Antwort auf:

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Received: from [41.210.11.174] by web45615.mail.sp1.yahoo.com via HTTP; Mon, 10 Sep 2007 04:24:43 PDT
Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2007 04:24:43 -0700 (PDT)
From: john mensah <mrjohnmensah_1965@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Details-get back to me soon
To: Luemmel Tuete <xxxx@xxx>
In-Reply-To: <20070910090340.31690@gmx.net>
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Dear Luemmel,

Thanks for your update from your side. Please, send a copy of the form which you sent to the Ministry to me for my references.

It will interest you to note that the Chairman (Dr. Hillary) of the Committee was my school mate during our university days and i beleive, with the relationship that existed among us during the university days, he would be of immense assiatance to us on the contract.
However, i advise that you call Dr. Hillary on their telephone line (00233276728384) and get your company introduced orally to him. When calling him, try and use promotional terms about the capability/competency of your company in handling the contract, if awarded to your company. He is a kind man and i know, he will surely give you audience.

On my own side, i will add my full weight behind the contract to see that we secure the contract for the interest of receiving my commission. I beleive, if we sucessfuly win the tender, we would establish a good business relationship between us and i will as well contact you anyother time there is a tender like this in Ghana.

Moreso, i advise that you send the sample of the condoms with this address. On receipt of the sample, i will present it to the Committee for appraisal. The bearer is my cousin and works with them at the Post office. Include my phone number on the parcel to enable them call me when the parcel arrives in Ghana for collection.

% AGWU O. EMMANUEL
NEW TOWN POST OFFICE
ACCRA-GHANA
WEST AFRICA

Please, do not hesitate to inform me on any news or information you receive from the Ministry. I do not want us to make any mistake on the contract.

Best regards,
Mr. John Mensah
CEO
Jon Investment Agency
00233249646163

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Dafür wird der nette Onkel John auch Teil meiner neuen Werbung werden

So, eine Nacht darüber geschlafen und schon geht es weiter. Leider habe ich noch ein Problem mit der Adresse, aber das läßt sich ja schnell klären. Als Anhang gibt es den Vordruck vom Ministerium und ein besonderes Angebot an Onkel John: Werde der neue Werbestar für Lümmeltüten! Ob sich der gute John auf so etwas einläßt?

In Antwort auf:

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Dear John,

on Attachement you find the Form from the Ministry. I send you the Letter with the sample of Condoms to the given Adress, but I got a little Question: Have I put your Name on it an write c/o Agwu O. Emmanuel? I ask you, because you made a % infront of the Name.

And I got a special Question to you. I'm going to make a big deal with Ghana and I want to use this for a Promotioncampaign here in Germany. So I think it's a good Idea, to get a Picture from you, holding a sign with my Mailsignatur and a Condom on it. It will take just a few Minutes and I print it in our new Flyer. What do you think about it? It's a great Idea I think. So please print

Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!

on a blank Paper and take the picture. The slogan means: "Should the Woman not be pregnant, put him in a Condom - Luemmel Tuete Condom - you know, what you have"

Please send me the Picture as soon as possible.

Best regards

Luemmel Tuete

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Vielleicht wird Ghana ja etwas sicherer mit den Präsern und den neuen Werbestar...

Der gute John möchte einfach nicht verstehen, dass ich ihm nur 3 Präser im Brief zusenden möchte. Er erwartet wohl das Luxussortiment mit allem, was Spaß macht () Aber das wird nichts, es gibt nur den kleinen Brief mit 3 Tüten und auch nur per einfacher Post. Ist ja nur zum Anfüttern. Zu den Bildern hat er sich aber auch nicht so richtig geäusert...

In Antwort auf:

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Dear Luemmel,

Thanks for your mail and the filled form sent to me. You may add my name and put % Agwu O. Emmanuel at the back of the parcel and send either by FEDEX or UPS with the address i gave you yesterday. But, it is very important you include my telephone number as well to enable the courrier agents call me whenever the parcel arrives in Ghana.

I will be very happy if we can work together co-operatively to secure this tender. You can testify that this is a very large order from the Ministry. For now, the advert is not important. The only thing we should be talking for now, is how to secure the tender from the Ministry, knowing that a lot of other companies and suppliers are also involved and not the local advert. The advert would come after the order must have been secured.

Please, do not heistate to inform me anytime you receive any news or information from the Ministry. I do not want us to make any mistake on the contract.

I wait for your mail and the sample as directed to enable me present it to the Chairman for appraisal.

Best regards,
Mr. John Mensah
CEO

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Ich werde ihm mal klar machen, das so eine kleine Lieferung per Breif kommen wird und nicht mit FedEX oder UPS. Laut Post dauert so ein Briefchen aber knapp 2 Wochen ins ferne Ghana. Ich sehe gerade , in meiner Schreibtischschublade habe ich noch ein paar blaue Pfefferminzbonbons in Form eines Schniedels, die kommen mit in den Brief als Viagra

John fragt schon ganz ungeduldig nach, ob sich schon was getan hat und, ganz wichtig, ob die Präser schon unterwegs sind:

In Antwort auf:

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Dear friend,
How are you doing? Have you sent the sample? Please, inform me if you have received anyother information from the Ministry. i am doing my best to see that we win the contract, for the interest of receiving my commission.
i wait for updates from your side.
Best regards,
Mr. john mensah
CEO

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Da muss ich doch schnell eine Mail schicken und mal Onkel John den Mund wässerig machen. Es gibt nicht ein kleines Päckchen, sondern die große Freundenpackung für die ganze Familie (gehen aber leider auf dem Postweg verloren

In Antwort auf:

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Hello John,

the Sample is on the Way. I want only to sent a small Wallet, but I sent the large Sample, called "Happy Weekend" including 20 different fine Condoms, all Colours and all Tastes. Have fun with it!

At this time I got no update from the Ministry, but I'm waiting.

Have a nice Day!

Best Regards

Luemmel Tuete
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!
-------------------------------------------------------------------

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Ja, ich habe den Vertrag! jetzt kann ich etwas über 100 Millionen Präser nach Ghana senden! Gestern Nachmittag kam die lang erwartete Mail:

In Antwort auf:

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ATTENTION: LUEMMEL TUETE
GERMANY

RE: CONTRACT NUMBER: RG/MOH/97538/XX39/2007:-

BE INFORMED THAT AN APPROVAL HAS BEEN GIVEN IN FAVOUR OF YOUR COMPANY THIS DAY, 30TH AUGUST, 2007 HERE IN THE MINISTRY OF HEALTH-GHANA. THE APPROVAL NOTIFICATION DOCUMENT CAN BE SEEN AS ATTACHED TO THIS MAIL. THE ORIGINAL APPROVAL DOCUMENT WOULD BE HANDED OVER TO YOUR LOCAL AGENT (MR. MENSAH JOHN) WHENEVER HE COMES TO THE MINISTRY.

WE WOULD PROCEED TO MINISTRY OF JUSTICE FOR YOUR DRAFT CONTRACT AGREEMENT WHICH WOULD BE SENT TO YOU BY FRIDAY, 14TH SEPTEMBER, 2007 FOR YOU TO STUDY AND MAKE AMENDMENT(S) IN AREAS YOU THINK THAT MIGHT NOT SUITE YOUR COMPANY.

THANK YOU.
MEMBERS
CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTEE
MINISTRY OF HEALTH
ACCRA-GHANA
TENDER LINE: +233276728384

NOTE: ACKNOWLEDGE TO US WITHIN 24 HOURS THE SUCESSFUL DELIVERY OF THE APPROVAL NOTIFICATION DOCUMENT.

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Selbstverständlich habe ich sofort geantwortet und meine Mitarbeiter machen sich auch sofort bereit, die Container zu beladen

In Antwort auf:

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Dear Sirs,

Thank you for this Mail. I got the Approval Notification.

We in Our Factory are very happy to get this Contract and we are beginning to load up the Containers for the delivery!

Thank You very Much!

Luemmel Tuete

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Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!
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In Antwort auf:

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Hello John,

good News! I got the Contract!

Please go to the Ministry of Health, there you can get the Document.

We are beginning to load up the Containers for delivery!

Best regards
Luemmel Tuete
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Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!
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Onkel John freut sich auch schon sehr über den Vertragsabschluss . Jetzt möchte er nur noch ein Telefonnummer (ich glaube, ich gebe ihn die Arcor) und eine Kopie des Einlieferungsschein von dem Paket (ich glaube, er hat's nötig ), aber ich glaube, den hat die Sekretärin bei der spontanen Betriebsfeier heute (logisch bei dem Vertragsabschluß) wohl verbummelt...

In Antwort auf:

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Dear Friend,

Thanks for the good news which you gave me this morning. It is quite unfortunate i was not around yesterday as to be informed on the development. I travelled to my town for an emergency. I will go immediately to the Ministry to get more details concerning the offer. Please, i advise that you send a mail to the Ministry, informing them that you have received the approval document they sent to you.

Please, send to me your direct (mobile) telephone number for easy communication when the need arises. Scan a copy of the slip the courrier company gave you and send to me to enable me track the movement of the sample.

I will get back to you as soon as i come back from the Ministry.

Best regards
Mr. John Mensah
CEO
Jons Investment Agency
3rd fllor
Plot 112 Airport Road
Accra-Ghana
Phone: 00233249646164

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So, nach einer kleinen aber sehr heftigen Feier nun die Antwort an den guten John. Erstmal die Muguphon-Nr. und dann die schlachte Nachricht, der Wisch von UPS ist leider versaut. Meine Sekretärin hat gestern zuviel getrunken und voll auf ihren Schreibtisch gekotzt (für diese Idee danke ich meiner Blumenfrau Gaby , die sich auch tierisch über meinen Vertragsabschluß freut). So, für die Mugus melde ich mich ab zu einem kleinen Treffen mit Klaus Stört(h)ebecker und werde am Montag mit den Jungs weitermachen.

In Antwort auf:

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Hello John,

sorry about my late answer, but we had yesterday a little, but heavy Party. It was a little late yesterday. Here you got my telephon number: 03221 / 13412391,
The Sample is on it's Way, I think, it have to be there in Ghana at Monday by UPS. I'm sorry but we are not able to sent you a scan of the courrierslip, because my Secretary Mrs. Anshlag was very drunk yesterday an puke all over her Desk. So we had to throw away a lot of papers include the the slip. Sorry!
I hope, it will be no great problem.

Have a nice Day and weekend. I'm traveling this Noon to my old schoolfriend Klaus Stoerthebecker and I'm back at Sunday evening.

Yours
Luemmel

PS. I asked you for a little Picture. Where it is? :)

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Am Freitag Mittag kam noch eine kleine Überraschung aus dem fernen Ghana. Das Mysterium of Health wollte noch schnell vor dem Wochenende seinen Vertragsentwurfs-Fake loswerden, damit auch alles seine Richtigkeit hat. Bis Montag soll der Wisch wieder bei den Mugus sein, damit sie alles weitere einstielen können.

In Antwort auf:

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ATTENTION: LUEMMEL TUETE KONDOMFABRIKEN,
RICKELSTR, 1-9 D-36163,
POPPENHAUSSEN,
GERMANY.

SIR/MADAM,

DRAFT CONTRACT AGREEMENT: RG/MOH/97538/XX39/2007

WE HAVE ATTACHED YOUR DRAFT CONTRACT AGREEMENT FOR YOUR KIND PERUSAL. GO THROUGH THE AGREEMENT CAREFULLY AND AMEND AREA(S) YOU THINK DOES NOT SUITE YOUR COMPANY AND RETURN TO US BY EMAIL ATTACHMENT ON OR BEFORE MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17TH, 2007.

CONFIRM TO US YOUR ACCOUNT DETAILS FOR PREPERATION OF SOME VITAL DOCUMENTS LEADING TO THE TRANSFER OF THE INITIAL 70% ADVANCE PAYMENT.FROM MINISTRY OF FINANCE.

ON RECEIPT OF THE AMENDED AGREEMENT, WE WOULD NOW ARRANGE A SUITABLE DATE WITH MINISTRY OF JUSTICE FOR SIGNING OF YOUR CONTRACT AGREEMENT WHICH WOULD BE SENT TO YOU SUBSEQUENTLY IN HARD COPIES BY POST.

THANK YOU.
MEMBERS
CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTEE
MINISTRY OF HEALTH
ACCRA-GHANA

NOTE: ACKNOWLEDGE TO US THE SUCESSFUL DELIVERY OF THE ATTACHED DRAFT CONTRACT AGREEMENT TO YOU.

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In Antwort auf:

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Dear Tuete,

Thanks for the updates on the sample. I will go to the Ministry later in the day to know if they have collected the agreement from the Ministry of Justice.

Please, do not hesitate to inform me on any information you receive from the Ministry.

Wishing you a blissful weekend ahead.

Regards,
Mr. John

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In Antwort auf:

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Dear Tuete,

I just came back from the Ministry and the Chairman told me that the agreement had been sent to you. Please, foward the agreement to me. I want to have a look at it and know the content.
Wishing you a blissful weekend ahead.

Best regards,
Mr. John Mensah
CEO

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Da wird schnell eine kleine Berichtigung in dem Schreibsel vorgenommen und wieder nach Ghana versandt. Natürlich hat Lümmel auch einen Rechtsanwalt (auch wieder mit einem passenden Namen...)

In Antwort auf:

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Dear Sir,

I check the Contract Agreement with my Lawyer Dr. Vick van Achteren and we have only one little Change in the Agreement: Poppenhausen is only be written with a single S.

When is it possible to come Ghana to sign the Contract?

Best Regards
Luemmel Tuete

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Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!
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Den lieben Onkel John wird natürlich auch mitgeteilt, dass der Vertrag da ist, lediglich ein kleiner Schreibfehler vorliegt. Schnell noch nachgefragt, ob er auch die Probenpackung erhalten hat, da diese doch schon eingetroffen ist. Ob John auch noch eine Packung für den Eigenbedarf haben möchte?
Und Johnny, wo bleibt das Foto für die neue Werbung?

In Antwort auf:

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Dear John,

here you have the Contract Agreement from the Ministry of Health. I made a little Change in The Agreement, because Poppenhausen is only be written with a single S.

I can see, you got the Sample on Saturday morning. I found the Tracking-No. from UPS still in the Browser of my Computer, so I can have a look.

Have a lot of Fun with it and if you want, I can send you some more Samples. Now I need only a Date at the Ministry and I came down to Ghana to sign the Contract. I will meet you there!

Have a very nice Day!

Yours
Luemmel

PS.: I got no Picture from you. How can I produce my new Promotionseries without this Picture!
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Soll die Frau nicht schwanger sein,
steck ihn in ein Kondom rein!
Luemmel Tueten's Kondome - Da weiss mann, was mann hat!
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So, noch eine Mail vom Mysterium. Jetzt weiß ich, wei der Hase in diesem Fall läuft: Lümmel braucht einen Rechtsverdreher aus Ghana, der natürlich einiges kosten wird... Aber eine Bankverbindung soll auch nach Ghana gesandt werden, damit die Mugus auch das ganze Gled überweisen können Na gut, Lümmel wird heute noch den guten Onkel John bitten, einen Winkeladvokaten zu organisieren...

In Antwort auf:

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ATTENTION: MR. LUEMMEL TUETE
GERMANY

BE INFORMED THAT WE HAVE RECEIVED YOUR AMENDED DRAFT CONTRACT AGREEMENT THIS DAY 17TH SEPTEMBER, 2007 IN THIS OFFICE.

WE HAVE NOTED THE SINGLE AREA WHICH YOU PIN-POINTED THAT NEED TO BE AMENDED. THE SINGLE CORRECTION/AMENDMENT WOULD REFLECT ON THE PRINTED COPIES AND WOULD BE SENT TO YOU THROUGH POST WHEN SIGNED AT THE SUPREME COURT OF GHANA AND OR ANYOTHER COURT OF COMPETENT JURISDICTION IN GHANA.

THE ORIGINAL COPIES OF THE CONTRACT AGREEMENT WOULD BE SIGNED ON WEDNESDAY, 19TH 2007.

SEQUEL TO Art 7 ON THE AGREEMENT, THE AUTHORISED PERSON OF BOTH PARTIES SHOULD BE AN ATTORNEY WHOSE STATUS ARE AS STATED HEREUNDER.

# SHOULD BE A MEMBER OF GHANA BAR ASSOCIATION
# SHOULD BE ACCREDITED/AFFILIATED TO THE MINISTRY
# SHOULD HAVE A LANDED PROPERTY IN ACCRA-GHANA


YOU ARE THEREFORE REQUESTED TO LIASE WITH YOUR LOCAL AGENT (MR. MENSAH JOHN) AND LOOK FOR ONE. WE HAVE AGREED THAT THE AGREEMENT WOULD BE SIGNED ON WEDNESDAY 19TH SEPTEMBER, 2007. WE THEREFORE URGE YOU AND YOUR AGENT TO LOOK FOR ONE. THE REQUEST FOR AN ATTORNEY IS SIN QUA NON TO THE CONTRACT.


THE COMMITTEE IS LOOKING FOWARD TO SEEING AN ATTORNEY THAT WOULD STAND ON YOUR BEHALF.

HELP US TO SERVE YOU BETTER.

MEMBERS
CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTEE
MINISTRY OF HEALTH
ACCRA-GHANA

NOTE: CONFIRM TO US YOUR ACCOUNT INFORMATION FOR PREPERATION OF YOUR EXCHANGE CONTROL APPROVAL THE THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE-GHANA.

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In der Zwischenzeit kam dann noch eine Mail von Onkel John. Er hat die Kondome nicht erhalten und möchte die Tracking-Nummer von UPS. Dafür darf er noch ins Mysterium:

In Antwort auf:

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Dear Luemmel,

How are you doing? I have seen the agreement sent to you from the Ministry of Health. I have not received the sample which you sent. Send the tracking number to me by mail to enable me trace the movement of the parcel.

I will go to the Ministry later in the day to know the day the agreement would be signed.

I will get back to you when i come back from the Ministry. Do not hesitate to inform me on any information you receive from the Ministry. I do not want us to make any mistake on the contract.

Best regards,
Mr. John Mensah
CEO
Jons Investment Agency
Plot 112 Airport Road
Accra-Ghana
Phone:00233249646163

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